An Open Letter To Europe From an American Democrat

Dear Europe:

Looks like you are disappointed in our election outcome. That’s totally understandable. I’m certainly no fan of Bush and would much rather preferred a different result. But there’s nothing any of us can do to change it. The fact is Bush has finally been elected to the presidency (In 2000 he didn’t actually win the election, he was selected by the Supreme Court, but that’s another article).

Now the events are such that for the next four years America will continue on the path that Bush has fore chosen. I know, I don’t think it will work either. But I’m not writing to you about any of that, I’m writing to you about you.

It’s really time you get over yourself. I am more patient than most, but I have decided that we here in America have put up with your complaining long enough. You act as if America is the cause of all your problems. I agree that this administration has made some dense decisions, but you are really a thorn in our side too.

If you truly want to solve some of your own issues such as: immigration; the EU, militant Muslims, racism (yes, you have tons of it), a stagnant economy, population decline, centuries of warfare, and yes I dare say it, culture; you should look inward and do that Renaissance thing again and start progressing into the new century.

America can’t solve these problems for you and we didn’t create them. It seems that the chic thing to do over there is to just blame it all on America and take a 35 day holiday and not have a care in the world, except when it comes to America.

That brings me to another point. Why is it that you are so obsessed with America? Everything we do you cover in your media like it’s the second coming and then dissect it until it’s completely overplayed. Why is it that you care more about us than you? When we decide to recklessly invade a country with little to no planning it’s a crime, but for 400 years it was perfectly acceptable for you to wage war at will regardless of its futileness. Do you really expect us to believe that you have some sort of detestation towards war now?

Europe, you are today a product of American interventionism and liberation. As much as you hate to admit it America protects you from your forms of democracy that has produced so much war. I understand our different views and experiences with democracy, but it is democracy that has kept us from being you.

I already know what you are going to say: America doesn’t do anything for Europe; America is out to conquer the world; America thinks it’s so great; America doesn’t protect Europe and during WWI and WWII you came in at the end; You only get involved when it benefits you. I think I’ve heard them all. Well, America does so much for Europe (That Marshall Plan was pretty nice.). I bet you don’t go two minutes without benefiting from an American invention (cars, planes, trains, television, radio, internet, computers, electricity, telephones, the UN…etc.). If you think you are peaceful today because of your own doing, think again, because it’s American troops that keep the peace; and during your last conflict in the Balkans it was America that intervened then too. I’m not sure we are conquering the world, but it was all right when you tried it. This modern world is so American anyways. During WWI and WWII we came in at the beginning of the end; we couldn’t have come in at the beginning because you started both. And had we not intervened, two very different “ends” would have occurred. I’ll take the one with American intervention and liberation any day. Did it benefit us? Sure it did. But I’m confused as to how impeding European wars only benefited America.

I know you say you don’t owe us anything and that we are arrogant and know nothing about the world. But how does such an ignorant nation dominate such a diverse world? Some of the things you say don’t add up. And I’m sure you will take this letter as another form of American egotism, but nonetheless something had to be said. The truth is, I like you. We aren’t perfect and no one is asking you to be either. Just get the chip off your shoulder, or next time Germany flares up don’t call us.

Yours truly,